Am I Foolish?

This came about from a writing assignment. I need to get back into blogging. This is a good place to start.

Am I foolish? Sometimes I act the fool to learn. I let someone think I have not gathered all the information I need about some certain subject and then I let them school me. Do I then, in turn, school others? Yes, indeed, I do, and my fault is to always make sure I have my data correct. Because… we are living in the age of misinformation. Or disinformation, if you will. But what I learn from others... that's what I carry with me. That's what allows me to weigh decisions, opinions, attitudes.

This past week I walked by sea and lake water. These feet are old, and legs not as steady as they once were. In the past, able to climb around like a wiry primate, I am slowed down and must pay attention now. My little dog wanders aimlessly at the end of her leash and I am also responsible for her. A huge responsibility for a six pound dog. Watching my step and being aware of my surroundings is a huge task.

The access at Richmond Beach is not an easy one; I am on private land apparently as I approach a small sea wall (not small to me) and setting my dog down, I find footholds and things to grab onto. I step over, on and around large pieces of driftwood that heavy storms have shoved towards the shore. My dog waits patiently until I am stable enough to grab her off the wall, where she patiently waits.

This is not a task for closed eyes, but we do find a log to sit on and there we meditate, eyes closed, her in my lap and trembling at the noise of the incoming tide, the ferocious water crashing on the rocks. The smell of brine, that noisy tide, the cry of gulls overhead. This is peace for me.

Foolish is not the girls down the beach, barely clothed, sipping their wine, smoking cigarettes and dashing in and out of the water. This is the opposite of foolish; it is living. It is finding the moment, the place in time and space, the memory of a day. Just as my dog and I are doing, balancing what we can do and what we need to be cautious about. The sky turns pink, eventually crimson and then the waves are creeping closer to our feet. The girls down the way grab their blanket, towels and belongings and we listen to their whoops and cries as they laughingly make their way to higher ground.

I’m taxed to share who I teach and who teaches me. I have tenants who I am not just a landlady, but a counselor, a shoulder, a friend. There is a ten-year-old girl, of whom I am in charge on a thrice weekly basis. I do learn from all of these wise souls. This last Sunday at the lake, I brought a newfangled disposable grill, with coals that would be ready in 20 minutes. We were excited to roast wienies on it and had all the fixings, buns, mustard, ketchup, pickles. We lit it and I put the timer on for 20 minutes. It died. 

It was a terrible death because it took with it the hot in our hot dogs. My 21-year-old granddaughter Mila worked for an hour with that damn grill. She does not give up easy. It was a disappointing outcome, but a great observation for me. I admire her consistent persistence; she’s had it from the beginning. I’m not one to give up easy and can be like a dog with a bone, depending on the situation, but Mila makes me feel like a slouch at times. That’s a good thing. Learning from those younger than us might be a struggle for some older folks. 

I love that I am surrounded by young people who can teach me.  

Thanks for reading