We're the Government and We're Here to Help

I’ve been notified that I owe the government money; Employment Security to be specific. For those of you who don’t know, that’s “Unemployment” and if ever there was an oxymoron…

The amount is $409.00 because “the information provided is different than the information provided by [my] employer or other resources for the same period.” Sigh. Those were my bonuses. I shared them with my co-manager, too, but the checks were made out to me.

Considering I get approximately $194 a week from ESD, this will take a big bite out of my crime.

It’s not that I don’t appreciate the funds filtered into my bank account every week, enabling me to barely make my rent, pay my bills and depend on friends and family for fun and frivolity.  I would be getting more, if not for the fact I receive $575 a month in the form of rent stipend for a job that I put in somewhere between 65 and 80 hours a month. Break that one down. The money, I must assume, that I’ve made from bonuses, is not, indeed, bonus money at all, but regarded as income. So screw me if I want to have a latte, or buy a book or take a ferry ride or go to a movie. Never mind an extravagance like a nice dinner out and/or a concert, new boots, yoga classes, a road trip (but that would require my car, which is a whole other story.)

I know what you’re saying: So, get a J O B.

Yes. I’ve been working on that. As a matter of fact, Employment Security put me in touch with the Department of Vocational Rehab, who have been so kind as to help me get hearing aids, since my hearing loss is one of the reasons I am limited to what type of job I can get.  They also looked into helping with auto repairs to further facilitate my job seeking, which was greatly appreciated, though it didn’t work out. The woman who’s been helping me referred to getting the “breaks” on my car fixed. I overlooked it, as we all make mistakes and after all, spell-check probably wouldn’t catch that. But when I asked her if the DVR would be willing to help with payment for classes, I was told the courses I was interested in taking didn’t really fit with my profile and she wondered if that make “since” to me.

I don’t see myself as some flaming intellect. If I were, then maybe I wouldn’t be in this situation in the first place, where my retirement funds got eaten up by some national debt monster or bestowed to some global purpose that I had missed somewhere in small print.

The DVR put me in touch with one of their employment agencies. I would need a new profile. After being flipped around to three different people within that agency, one who chewed gum throughout the entire interview, I was assigned to a young lady who explained that she was an expert in resume writing and could really help me out. She proudly presented my re-written resume to me, with experience misspelled three times. She made me look like a whiz kid by including that currently I simultaneously managed a dental office, restaurant, two business offices and apartment buildings. If I did all that, I doubt I would require her assistance in finding employment. (I manage an apartment building in which there is a dental office and restaurant. The other information she simply fucked up in general after I repeatedly gave her details.) 

I’m not afraid of work. I do lots of it, get paid little and what I’m collecting from the government is a bit of a joke. An insult. And now they want me to give them money. For my bonuses.  

Beware of: We’re the government and we’re here to help you.