Chopsticks

In honor of Words Matter Week, I am prompted to write about the following: "Communication breaks down when words are misused. What is the funniest, most interesting, or worst break-down you’ve ever observed?"

Years Ago.

We finished dining at China First on University Way and were driving down 45th Street, when I was sure I heard my daughter say “Do you have any chopsticks?”
I thought it was a very peculiar request and said “No, I do not.”
“Are you sure?” she asked.
“Of course I’m sure,” I said and went on to explain we had plenty at home in a drawer that Grandma had given us, some very old ones and a lot of new ones, too. “Why would I?”
“Because you always have some in your purse.” She was staring at me as if I had lost my mind.
I shook my head in disbelief. And turned to look at her.
“I always have some in my purse?” I was incredulous. "Did you take yours?"
“Mom,” she said. “What do you think I said?”
“You asked if I had any chopsticks.”
“I asked you if you had any chapstick,” she said with eyes wide, a gaping mouth and a slow shake of the head.
We both fell into a spell of laughter that forced me to pull to the side of the road.
“Chapstick,” I sputtered, tears streaking down my face.
“Chopsticks,” she said, wiping her eyes, launching into another round of guffaws.
Chopsticks/Chaptick turned into a family mini-legend. We try to have a sense of humor about the misery of hereditary hearing loss. Rarely does an episode pass, when one of us “mis-hears” that chopsticks aren’t mentioned.

Thank you for reading.

BELIEVE

Believe is a word from childhood that might strike fear or give hope. “Please, believe me” and “I believe you” are two of the strongest statements a child can share with a parent. “I know it’s hard to believe, but…” will always make a listener lean a bit closer and “If you believe that, I have a bridge to sell you…” gives one person an arrogant power over another.
THIS I BELIEVE is an NPR program of essays written by over 70,000 believers, a series started by Edward R. Murrow in the 1960’s that has spawned some of the most inspiring words ever written.
Believe is tied very closely to hope and faith, but it is more than both of these concepts. “If I do not believe, I will lose hope.” “I must have faith in what I believe in.”
What we believe is what we are indoctrinated with, what we experience from birth to death and what we find in the search and discovery process of life. What we believe is our very own truth: convoluted, perfect, perverse, ideal, twisted, principled, dark…completely individual and personalized.
Believe, used in political campaigns and sermons from pulpits, or as a message to those in peril or in preparation for battle is a very potent word, standing alone.
We begin early in life to believe in fairies, elves, bunnies who hide eggs and a fat bearded man who delivers gifts, which we believe have been carted down chimneys, while a group of flying reindeer paw the roof. We are instructed to believe in virgin mothers and men living for hundreds of years. We are expected to believe in a holy supreme being, given a variety of names and further projected to be the only one of his/her/its kind. And we better believe it.
Some of us believe in miracles. Others believe in coincidence, or science. You may believe in ghosts, good and evil, reincarnation, the 5th Dimension. Some cannot bring themselves to believe in love.
I believe in myself. I have been tested over time enough to realize that the most important concept in my entire life is that I believe. I believe in a manner that is positive, willing and optimistic. I believe in can and do and have and be. I will believe. I must believe. I can believe. I believe.

Thank you for reading.

Notes from the Other Washington

I’m in the “Other Washington” and certainly no authority on anything, but I do listen to both sides of the aisle, regardless if I like what I’m hearing.

Following an electronic conversation with a friend who astonished me with his remarks, I’ve had to drag out my soap box, hobble upon it and make a statement or two.

To quote David Leonhardt of the NYTimes, “Liberals don’t like the stimulus because they wish it were bigger. Republicans don’t like it because it’s a Democratic program.”

Therein lie most of the problems of our new administration, where we’re practically witnessing a civil war in our congressional halls; it seems the GOP wants Obama to fail at any cost, as long as their constituents’ taxes don’t go up. And don’t let me get started on the race issue. (Read: The Breakthrough; Politics and Race in the Age of Obama by Gwen Ifill)

The stimulus bill has actually added 1.6 million to 1.8 million jobs, leading to a targeted total of 2.5 million jobs, and these estimates are considered to be conservative. Scott Brown can get a lot of press by making false statements in sound bites that later turn into LimbaughFacts or BeckTruths. But many independent studies have shown that Brown is maintaining the same lies that he campaigned on.

What has the stimulus bill done for you?
By appropriating money to state and local governments, your teachers, firefighters, police officers on all levels, health care workers, city and county laborers and many others kept their jobs. Without that stimulus money, many of them would have been in desperate straits and/or on the same payroll that nearly ten percent of the working population has found itself: unemployment. The well publicized Greater Prince William Community Health Center is good example.


Unemployment benefits have been extended across the board. I personally know people who are on their second and third extensions. Imagine my frustration. I can collect nothing. I’ve been advised to go to the local Department of Health and Welfare and tell them I am depressed (or crazy, which isn’t much of a stretch) so that I can receive aid. It won’t be long before that will be a fact.

I am weary of hearing negative feedback from people who tell me things will get worse before they get better. Where, exactly (and I mean that) are they getting their information?

Consumer spending has risen. The cause? Some $100 billion that essentially came from stimulus checks, with that exact intention and it IS working. The tax credit for corporate investment has had an enormous impact on the economy at every level. The predicted recession had the potential to become a depression and it did not.

Barack Obama was very wise to keep Ben Bernanke as Federal Reserve Chairman, above the protests of many senate liberals, as well as conservatives, who easily forgot it was Alan Greenspan who was responsible for the damaging effect of the lowering of the interest rates at a time that Bernanke was a well schooled student, as a member of the Reserve. Only time will tell how much power the Federal Reserve might continue to maintain but at this time they have reins under control that had been frayed, torn and in some cases, altogether invisible.

We can only hope (there’s that concept again) that there will be continued aid, with businesses-to-hire programs and further incentives like cash-for-clunkers.

Obama’s a big guy and he can deflect a lot of blows, but hammering him on the perceived lack of success of the stimulus bill? Find something else to criticize and then, please, back it up with facts.

Thank you for reading.

The Great Job Hunt

Two months. It’s been two months since I’ve blogged. And a half, actually. What kind of a blogger am I? I’ve been job hunting and it’s an all consuming occupation. Every day, I accompany my coffee mug to the monitor and cruise through job listings, send emails, fill out online applications.

It’s humbling. And scary to be broke and over-qualified at the same time. Over-qualified is a term that‘s hackneyed and misunderstood. If I am qualified to do the work, that’s the priority in this dog-eat-dog mission. I understand there are some situations for which I am under-qualified. I do not have a degree; too busy raising children and establishing my own successful businesses. I’ve taken some great classes at community colleges and online courses. I find it interesting that a degree is so important these days. I am so not impressed by degrees in this day and age. I know doctors, lawyers, teachers and other professional people who are really book smart but don’t have the sense to drive sober, seek appropriate help or communicate with family and co-workers. I have taught myself a great deal just in the course of living, surviving and listening.

I’m not asking to do brain surgery nor am I interested; I’m not an engineer of any kind and would therefore not put myself in the stressful situation of impersonating one. Nor can I develop websites, write tech or care to even understand the meaning of JQuery, AJAX, LINQ, MS SQL server, ASP.NET, etc. However, there are many things I am capable of.

My daughter says their loss, every time I get passed over. One interviewer told me “you are a very viable candidate for this job. I’m going to check your references and I will get back to you.” That was a Thursday. As the weekend passed and none of my references received a phone call, I could see the writing on the wall. Which was a good thing, since I had to write to the company on Monday to get a progress report. They emailed me later that afternoon telling me I had been amongst the final three but they had moved forward with another candidate. Too busy to call? My personal fave is the spa interview, where I was vying for the position of office manager/retail clerk. She felt so bad about not hiring me, she sent me a gift certificate for a massage. Nice. That’s classy. God knows I need the massage. My neck and shoulders feel like forged steel.

I listened to President Obama deliver his State of the Union Address. He spoke of “men and women who wake up with the anguish of not knowing where their next paycheck will come from; who send out resumes week after week and hear nothing in response.” That’s me. I am in that dynamic. Then again, I wouldn’t want his job.

I never thought it would be so difficult to find A JOB. I have been working since I was 12 years old, when I was picking beans and raspberries in the Nishimura fields to make money for school clothes. My experience is varied and unique. Everything from owning a day care to a luxury villa. My mom asked me if I was above cleaning houses. Am I? No, of course not.

Domestic for hire. Will scrub toilets. Successful small business ownership; customer service management; marketing; purchasing; staff management and development. Freelance and team writer for various travel and tourism publications and websites. Microsoft Word, Excel, PowerPoint; basic Spanish translation; community presentations, staff management, training and team-building, meeting facilitation, cash management, bookkeeping, vendor negotiations, contract management. Willing to iron and do windows.

Thanks for reading.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

As much as I’ve wanted to write a blog about re-entry into the United States after years of living outside her borders, I just haven’t been able to ignite that particular muse. While I have a lot to say about the matter, I’ve been too busy seeking employment, looking after family and recovering from an inevitable bug I managed to contract (what a funny way of saying getting sick. Surely, this is not the type of contract I’m looking for.)

Thanksgiving approaches with such rapidity; I was astonished to wake up this morning to realize it is tomorrow! Christmas decorations are everywhere and many houses already have lights dripping from gutters and shutters. I’ll miss the holidays in Vallarta, where there is no Black Friday and Christmas shopping at the worst of times might mean a 10 minute wait in line at Wal-Mart.

There is a huge banner hung on the street side of Stanford’s Restaurant advertising Black Friday Breakfast starting at 5:30 a.m. This must be for those who storm the doors at Target, which opens at 5 a.m. It’s hard for me to imagine anything so necessary or so cheap. My past experience with waiting in line for deals that are too good to be true is that they are, indeed, most likely too good to be true.

I do anticipate a family Thanksgiving. Snuggled in the foothills of the Cascades at my son’s cozy house, his wife browning the turkey, my mother visiting with her great granddaughter and the first holiday I will share with my older brother in a very long time. There will be eleven of us and we shall pray and give thanks for the well being of friends, loved ones and strangers; the benefit of shelter, jobs, love, food, central heating, church, friendship, peace, schools, and a mechanic in the family.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO EVERYONE

It is with dubious pleasure I share the following poem:

Black Friday

Giving their thanks with no ordinary feast

Americans from coast to coast

Shamelessly devour food enough to cause complaint,

Which quite often puts them to sleep

So they may

Store energy for the equally traditional

Black Friday shopping on the following day,

When consumers boost the country’s economy

And push the red ink over the line,

Turning it magically to black.

Doorbuster Deals to entice the post-Thanksgiving shoppers

Was not a concept taken seriously by Jdimypai Damour

Until the entrance bulged, snapped and overflowed

With eager New Yorkers

At the darkened hour of 5 a.m.

Seeking a most important supreme Christmas gift.

The blood and bones of Jdimypai Damour

Remained on the floor

Of the Wal-Mart store

As checkers scanned the treasures of holiday shoppers,

Who went back home to eat leftover turkey sandwiches

With chilled cranberry sauce,

And watch the 6’o’clock news

Of the California shootings that left

Two people dead in the aisles of Toys-R-Us,

For the sake of one sought after toy,

Giving new meaning to Loss leader.

(Based on actual events Thanksgiving 2008)


Thank you for reading.

Let's Not Kiss, Shall We?

A few years ago while I watched my nephew tightly gripping his Game Boy about six inches from his face, completely oblivious to his surroundings, I was alarmed by what looked to me like a sure method of de-socializing a child. Television and the Nintendo had taken on a new, much more intense contender.

This was long before one could golf, bowl, kick a soccer ball, surf, skateboard and participate in several other sports, just by standing in front of a television, at home….alone. Wii was to be the shocking wave of the future.

Telephone texting has robbed people of real conversation and even developed “predictive” mode to increase the speed one can talk.

As much as I have found these activities annoying, I will confess that beyond the irritation, I am profoundly alarmed.

We don’t see as much of this behavior in Mexico, perhaps due to a less materialistic approach to living and lower economic levels all across the board.

I’ll be returning to the US soon, where I'll need to adjust to the lack of good manners, of which I've become accustomed. Strangers greet one another on the street, with few exceptions. Sneeze in the grocery aisle and you are likely to be saluted with a blessing to your health by someone hidden by a row of cereal boxes. Children and babies are touched, patted and fondled by waiters, grocery clerks, bankers, receptionists, and countless other unfamiliar persons. Kissing upon greeting is not just acceptable, but expected. Hand shaking is an art form.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Last night, a friend returning from the states exclaimed how people no longer are hugging, shaking hands or kissing. The air kiss/hug/hand shake is being promoted on the six o’ clock news, in schools, offices and even homes, amongst relatives, as well as acquaintances. This, due to the swine flu.

Soon we can simply stay at home, have food delivered, sit in front of the computer or stand in front of the television screen. We can eliminate all human contact by texting; webcamming; playing Wii sports; chess, dominoes, Scrabble, etc online. We can do away with touching, hugging, kissing.

Eventually we will have little or no need for one another. Even babies can be made in a petri dish.

Thanks for reading.

Satisfied Mind Thanks to Bobby Dylan

I’m supposed to be at a Bobby Dylan concert tonight in Seattle. I won tickets from KPLU, my favorite radio station in the NW, when I was there this summer. It was painful to realize I would need to leave the US, returning to Mexico and miss seeing live, at this later stage of both Dylan’s and my life, my teenage idol. The guy who told us to lend a hand or get out of the way, ‘cause the times were changing.
How prophetic, as I listen to, via internet, an interview with Rosanne Cash, singing her father’s List , hearing her talk about Johnny, Dylan, American folk music and singing songs that I love. I’m lucky to have Terry Gross to entertain me tonight, keeping my mind off the thrill I would’ve experienced at the WaMu Theater this evening.
My times are changing right now and there are wistful, melancholy feelings along with the excitement of knowing that I am opening a new chapter in my life. I listen to 500 Miles and North Country Girl, sung with a beautiful voice; not Dylan…but a woman who has gone through so many changes in her own life.
Imagine how I feel listening to "Motherless children have a hard time when the mother is gone." These lyrics strike so many chords.
I am making choices during this time as I have all my life. Making decisions and uprooting myself and sometimes my very own children to follow one dream or another. I am going back to Seattle to live with one child, be close to another who has seen far too little of me in the past decade and spend time with my 88 year old mother (who as spry as she is, is after all, eighty-eight). In that process I will leave behind my eldest daughter, her husband and my two youngest grandchildren, who followed me here to Mexico almost exactly two years ago.
Things we sacrifice, things we desire, things we face, conquer and win or lose…this is life. If life were not about change, it would be stagnant, close and so very meaningless. I tried to make light of missing seeing Dylan live. Aw, that it could have been Leonard Cohen that I had won tickets to see, I lamented.
I truly knew my loss, my chagrin, my tiny sorrow. Now that I am actually making this move and have sold all my furniture and dig through my collection of possessions (wondering why, over the past 13 years, I brought this or that), tossing, packing, storing, selling, I feel certain burdens lift and sense an anticipation regarding my immediate future. There will also be sadness, real grief and anxieties about making this change.
I’m going to wonder if he will sing this song tonight, an obscure one. But if I were there, and could write a little note, make a request and put a dollar in the tip jar, I would ask for this:

A Satisfied Mind.

How many times have you heard someone say
If I had his money I'd do things my way
Hmm, but little they know
Hmm, it's so hard to find
One rich man in ten with a satisfied mind.
Hmm, once I was wading in fortune and fame
Everything that I dreamed of to get a start in life’s game
But suddenly it happened
Hmm, I lost every dime
But I'm richer by far with a satisfied mind.
Hmm, when my life is over and my time has run out
My friends and my love ones
I'll leave there ain't no doubt
But one thing for certain
When it comes my time
I'll leave this old world
With a satisfied mind

Thanks for reading.